Real, Raw and Redesigning

Redesign Frustration, Support, and the Pressure for Perfection

Redesigning my ePortfolio has been an emotional rollercoaster. It's equal parts excitement, frustration, and determination. What seemed simple at the beginning quickly became overwhelming as I tried to refine the layout, adjust design elements, and make the site visually cohesive while still meeting all academic expectations. I found myself going in circles, fixing one section only to realize three more needed attention. Every time I thought I had the design right, something looked misaligned, or a page wasn’t functioning the way it should.

I am proud of the work I have done in this program, but I also hold myself to a very high standard. That means that every pixel, paragraph, and portfolio page feels like it matters. When I started noticing errors that I couldn’t fix on my own, spacing issues, font inconsistencies, broken links, I felt the pressure rising. I wanted my ePortfolio to reflect the quality of effort, learning, and professional growth I’ve put into this program. The idea of a small technical issue ruining the polished final result made me genuinely anxious.

Reaching out to Diamond ended up being a lifesaver. Sometimes we underestimate how valuable collaboration really is until we find ourselves stuck. Diamond was patient, clear, and reassuring. She helped me identify the root of some of the problems, corrected several mistakes right away, and even walked me through how to avoid similar issues in the future. Her support turned what felt like a crisis into a manageable task. It reminded me of something we often teach students but forget to apply to ourselves: it’s okay to ask for help.

Even with that support, there are still edits left to make. And if I’m honest, I’m still anxious. I’ve worked incredibly hard in this class. The thought of this assignment having any impact on my perfect score brings up stress that I know is tied to my own expectations of excellence. I want my work to speak for itself. I want it to be clean, organized, thoughtful, professional, and reflective of all I’ve learned. And yes, I want the grade to reflect that effort, too.

But the deeper reflection is this: learning is messy. Even digital learning. Even leadership development. Even ePortfolio creation. This redesign process has forced me to practice patience, persistence, and problem-solving, all skills that matter far beyond a single assignment.

I’m learning to breathe through the anxiety, take edits one step at a time, and trust the process. My ePortfolio may not be perfect yet, but it is becoming something I am proud of. And as stressful as it is, this moment is shaping me into a stronger digital creator and a more resilient learner.

If nothing else, this experience reminded me that perfection isn’t the goal, growth is. The grade matters, but so does the journey. And right now, I’m learning more than I expected… even through my frustration.